i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
