You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
