We're like a lot better than the average bears
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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