ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
