I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
