At least make sure they are 18
Why
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
How's work?
Spinning.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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