I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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