I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, beer. Big fan.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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