Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Found the puke drawer
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
