they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
