i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
