i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
