This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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