I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
nut hugger
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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