Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
