Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
