either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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