why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i dont even know how to be here
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
