Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
