I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
