so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
