just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
