Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
