I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
