dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
