is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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