Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
how does that bad decision feel?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
