I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
