Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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