shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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