we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Everclear isn't food dammit
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
