think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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