let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
