I smell stomach acid.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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