I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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