He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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