you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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