My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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