Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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