she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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