There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize