I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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