My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
