After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
