WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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