shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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