Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
