He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
