Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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