I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
