I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
