Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
